Pensive

Pensive...that's how I feel. I feel so lazy sometimes, so able to do things but just not wanting to do them. I feel meaningless sometimes and I someone or something would fire up my engines and kindle the passions lying dead in me. Painting, programming, poetry...heck, even just taking an interest in classes would make me thankful. I feel like I'm heartless at times and i view the world and the people in it with some very gray spectacles, very bored and dispassionate. It sucks, but I don't care. I like ranting but i don't like people conversing about it, i like being left alone and i like getting the easy way out by doing nothing. I feel spoilt at times, annoying at times, honorable at times and so confused, other times. I hate this. I like someone, and this person is a friend...but went off home to Canada without a hint of "cya"...i thought we were trying to be friends here not strangers. Sigh. I just hate myself but really I'm just numb, attuned to ignoring everything, taking it all in stride and tossing it aside, tuning it all out. Anyways, sleep time then to go fail a final so i can get my daily lectures of being worthless extended for another eternity. Bleh.